At some point we all reach a time in our grieving process when people begin to find it more and
I have this haunting A haunting, no one else can see You, my dear, have left and haunted me You
In my prior blog post: WAIT A MINUTE…MY BIG GIRL PANTS SUDDENLY GOT WAY TOO SMALL AND WAY TOO FAST
Before I get started, let me just say that I’m going to try to make as much light of this
This past Friday, I attended what would have been my daughter Madison’s High School Graduation. I knew it would no
Madison was always full of life. She was full of spunk and had a little attitude too. Her laugh or
Grief is a monster That comes each and every night With crooked horns and teeth so sharp He comes to
You are not hidden There’s never been a moment You were forgotten You are not hopeless Though you have been
In my experience, when psychiatry and counseling goes bad, it can go really bad. It can be extremely traumatic to
This is a continuation of one of my previous writings: ATTACKING A BROKEN SPIRIT How we treat others continues to
I have a confession. This confession feels absolutely terrible to even put in writing. It is my reality though. I
I truly feel that more people have experienced something in life that has left them broken than those who have
Mother’s Day in the U.S. is this coming Sunday and National Bereaved Mother’s Day was this past Sunday. I, along
When I first lost my daughter I was in complete and utter shock. I was in shock for multiple reasons.
I read an article this morning titled “Researchers Reveal Losing A Dog Can Be As Hard As Losing A Loved
I have written some previously about my inability to physically go anywhere but one or two places and how I
I have been seeing a very common and consistent theme everywhere I turn lately. I hear and see people say
Some days just plain suck, but that’s okay. Some days I wish I could turn my back on all this
I had a dream A dream of you and me What a wonderful yet heartbreaking dream it would turn out
Everyone grieves at their own pace and in their own, very personal manner. So who’s to say that someone might
I have a lot of time to think to myself, I mean lots of time. I am typically in deep
When both of my daughters were little I used to have a recurring nightmare. It was the only nightmare I
One thing is certain in life; death shall come to us all. Death is inevitable and inescapable. We shall all
I have so much love locked inside my heart with no where to go or anything left to do. It
“There are far better things ahead than we leave behind”“You can’t step into the future still holding onto the past”“No
Sometimes in anticipation of upcoming milestones, I feel like sticking my head in the sand instead of facing them. I
There can be no turning back. If it were possible, I would’ve already found a way. Yesterday has gone and
There is no ‘at least’ in childloss. No one can convince me otherwise on this. I understand that people honestly
When a loved one dies it is perfectly natural to have feelings of regret. It’s natural to regret a conversation
In one of my previous blog posts titled: How Losing a Parent Differs From The Loss of a Child, I spoke about
I lost my daughter to a drug related accident. My daughter was imperfect; she acted out, just like most teenagers
It’s been a little more than two years keeping my feelings and what is in my heart almost entirely to
I’ve heard it said that there are signs of our loved ones everywhere. I’ve heard that some of the signs
Losing my daughter has absolutely flipped my entire existence upside down. I shall never return to the person I once
This is my song to my daughter. I’ve always felt that this song was written for both of my
One thing I’ve learned is that the smallest mention of her name makes most people squirm. My daughter lived dammit,
At times it feels like I’m sinking into a dark hole while screaming out “Why can’t anyone hear me? Can’t
Oh precious daughter, will there ever come a moment when my heart isn’t desperately searching for you? In everything I
When Maddy loved, she truly loved with her whole heart. She loved her Papaw wholeheartedly no doubt. He had always
This life long journey I’m on is hard. I know I’m not alone, but it’s still so lonely being here.
I know you I know all about you I know what it felt like as you grew inside me I
I never chose to become a grieving mother. There have been many times when I have wanted to give up
I have to remind myself to breathe most every day. I honestly believe with some things there are absolutely no
My father passed away after a long battle with pancreatic cancer just a little over a year before my daughter
I am the mother of 2 beautiful daughters and have found myself now torn between Heaven & Earth. I am a wife, Lala (grandmother), sister, daughter & friend. In the professional world, I am an assistant controller for a manufacturing company. I am not what I’d consider a writer. My heart however, has something to say and God has transformed and allowed me to open my eyes to a new purpose through writing. I’ve felt a strong pull to begin writing about my experiences for some time and finally gathered enough courage to start doing so during the first part of 2019.
A BRIEF SUMMARY OF MY UNIMAGINABLE LOSS:
On Dec. 11, 2016, my life changed forever. I lost my youngest daughter, abruptly and tragically, at the age of 15 years old. She had passed out in the bathtub and drowned after huffing some compressed air. I found her very soon after it happened, but she was unable to be saved. I’m not going into greater detail regarding this terrible accident just yet, but do feel compelled to say that our youth are being brought up in an extremely dangerous world. As parents we do everything we can to teach and protect them. But the knowledge they possess, and the exposure to things we never even imagined growing up is absolutely overwhelming these days.
This terrible unimaginable day began my lifelong journey as a grieving mother.
Not a day or a moment goes by that I do not long for and miss my daughter. She was my sunshine, my life, my light, my future, my hopes and my dreams.
Everything I write about and share here, in this blog is from deep within my heart and a direct reflection of the undying love I have for my daughter. I have also discovered that invaluable morals and integrity instilled in me from a very young age, until now, through constant and unwavering example has contributed greatly to my writing as well; I have my Mother and Father to thank for teaching me these things. They are two of the strongest and most influential people I’ve ever known.
In this blog, I also write about losing a parent. My father lost his battle with pancreatic cancer in 2015, just a little over a year before my daughter passed away too, joining him in Heaven. I am a grieving daughter; My father was my very first love, my protector and my super hero. Losing a parent comes with it’s own challenges. I love and miss my Daddy too.
I sincerely hope my words, experiences & grief journey will touch someone’s heart or at the very least, let someone know they are not alone in this world.
I have forever been changed and “This is my story, this is my song.”