I never chose to become a grieving mother. There have been many times when I have wanted to give up completely and I often wonder how I haven’t died from my broken heart alone. Surely it’s enough to stop a heart, right? Carrying such lament is not for the faint of heart. It takes a strength one never imagined they could possibly or even need behold. Every second of every day takes tremendous strength.
I am strong because I continue to carry on and survive each day. I am strong because I wake each morning to face the deafening awareness of my daughter’s absence all over again, day after day as if it just happened. I am strong even when I’m completely broken down, struggling and a total mess. I am strong for bearing a burden so heavy that only someone with extraordinary abilities could handle. I am strong for facing every new milestone. I am strong for realizing that those milestones will never stop coming as long as I live. I am strong for living without such a huge part of my future. But most importantly I am strong for remembering someone so precious who has given me the undying love to be able to be so strong.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13