One thing I’ve learned is that the smallest mention of her name makes most people squirm. My daughter lived dammit, I want to hear her name & talk about her. To me the simple mention of her name is the most beautiful sound I could hear.
It’s also amazing how almost every person you know makes great effort to avoid you at all costs now. It’s the most lonely feeling ever. All because of what? It might make them uncomfortable? Even people I was closest to have completely abandoned me now.
That’s when the other people stepped in though. People who totally surprised you. They accepted that you want & need to talk about your child. They have sat with you as you’ve cried & fell into a pile on the floor somewhere. They have stayed with you until you are able to regain your composure. THEY HAVE TRULY BEEN THERE FOR YOU.
I wish that grief wasn’t such a people repellent. To make matters even worse, I’ve been labeled that Mother who lost her child along with thousands of other mothers out there. It’s not a disease, I wish people understood that.