Sinking-Screaming Silently

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Illustration used to show how grief can feel

At times it feels like I’m sinking into a dark hole while screaming out “Why can’t anyone hear me? Can’t anyone see the pain I’m in? Why isn’t anyone helping me?” But all my screams are totally silent so I go another day feeling like my pain is completely invisible to everyone else.

The sensation I feel of being in that dark hole sometimes is a direct result of me suppressing my feelings and emotions. I don’t literally scream out for help or even gently ask for an ear when I feel this way. I keep everything inside until I begin to sink. Then in my mind I question why no one can see what’s happening.

But in reality, I comprehend that this is just another dark side to my grief. These feelings are of nobody else’s fault. No one could possibly know anything you don’t tell them. They have no real clue until things spiral out of control. 

A LIGHT SHINES IN

Someone eventually ends up seeing me no matter how long I’ve felt invisible. It’s amazing how much weight can be lifted by simply sharing what you are going through with someone. They may never truly understand it all, but by listening they are showing they care. By listening they shine a little light into your dark tunnel illuminating a way out.

So speak up, seek counseling, talk to a friend or relative, find a way to express your feelings constructively. You are never actually alone. Sinking into an abyss is destructive and only makes the already unbearable even more terrifying.

It took me two years to open up and I personally feel like a 200 lb boulder has been lifted from my shoulders.

YOU ARE ALWAYS LOVED!!!

“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

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