“There are far better things ahead than we leave behind”
“You can’t step into the future still holding onto the past”
“No matter how much you revisit the past, there’s nothing new to see”
“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”
Quotes like these make me really think about my own life and honestly the idea of letting go and moving on is a rather depressing thought to me. Is it really possible to let go of what was? How do I let go of something so precious? Are any of these things even possible for someone like me?
Will I ever let go of what once was or quit revisiting the past? Will I ever give it up even though it causes me pain now? One word; NEVER! It’s not even a possibility. The past is the only thing I have left of my daughter because that’s where she lived so I cannot let any part of that go. The pain I feel is simply a result of how deeply I love and miss her and she is worth every teardrop and heartache. If that’s holding me back from moving forward then so be it. I’d rather be able to revisit all the precious memories I have of her than ever let them slip away.
There are however several other things that I have let go of during my journey.
- I’ve let go of a huge part of my future as I wasn’t given a choice. This is not something I actually accept or embrace, but I have come to terms with it and understand it is gone.
- I’ve let go of friendships that weren’t real to begin with.
- I’ve let go of my pride even though I’m not a prideful person.
- I’ve let down the barrier that was guarding my heart for so long. I am now completely exposed emotionally.
- I’ve let go of any feelings of stigma surrounding Maddy’s death which has allowed me to share my story.
All in all I think I’m on the right path to be able to step into the future. I have let go of so much that was hurting me and held onto what is most precious.