Letting Go

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“There are far better things ahead than we leave behind”

“You can’t step into the future still holding onto the past”

“No matter how much you revisit the past, there’s nothing new to see”

“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”


Quotes like these make me really think about my own life and honestly the idea of letting go and moving on is a rather depressing thought to me. Is it really possible to let go of what was? How do I let go of something so precious? Are any of these things even possible for someone like me?

Will I ever let go of what once was or quit revisiting the past? Will I ever give it up even though it causes me pain now? One word; NEVER! It’s not even a possibility. The past is the only thing I have left of my daughter because that’s where she lived so I cannot let any part of that go. The pain I feel is simply a result of how deeply I love and miss her and she is worth every teardrop and heartache. If that’s holding me back from moving forward then so be it. I’d rather be able to revisit all the precious memories I have of her than ever let them slip away.

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There are however several other things that I have let go of during my journey.

  • I’ve let go of a huge part of my future as I wasn’t given a choice. This is not something I actually accept or embrace, but I have come to terms with it and understand it is gone.
  • I’ve let go of friendships that weren’t real to begin with.
  • I’ve let go of my pride even though I’m not a prideful person.
  • I’ve let down the barrier that was guarding my heart for so long. I am now completely exposed emotionally.
  • I’ve let go of any feelings of stigma surrounding Maddy’s death which has allowed me to share my story.

All in all I think I’m on the right path to be able to step into the future. I have let go of so much that was hurting me and held onto what is most precious.

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Photograph by: Laura Wyatt Douglass

3 thoughts on “Letting Go”

  1. I had similar thoughts as you whole grieving my dad’s passing. As I looked at a rose I noticed that it too was only youthful and soft for a certain period of time. As the petals started to shrivel, I kissed each one and remembered my dad. I had “lost” mama only 21 months before and it didn’t seem fair, this unexpected loss of my papa.
    The rose reminded me of the impermanence of life. Nothing was fair or unfair about it, that’s only one perception. I am now at the place where you found yourself to be at the end of your post.
    Many blessings to you in ALL ways.
    ❤️🦋🌀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh sweet lady, I am so sorry you have lost your parents. I lost my father and my 15 year old daughter 16 months apart. Life is so fragile and unpredictable. I love your story about a rose. I totally get it.

    I thought losing Dad would be the absolute worst thing I would experience. I basically laid down and let my Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis take over my body when he passed away then boom I lost my daughter and you can only imagine how that impacted my health. I’m fighting back now and am not giving into my chronic illnesses.

    I’m beginning to cherish what I had more than focusing on what is not here. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still slip into the despair of grief. One step and one day at a time is all we can do.

    I would like to invite you to read my post “A moment between father and daughter”. It might be something that you can relate to. mygriefjourney.org/2019/03/19/a-moment-between-father-daughter/

    For now, I’m sending you hugs through the miles. ♥️

    Like

    1. I just re-read your post about your Papa. I didn’t realize it was so recent. I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this right now. I hope you can treasure all that your father left you. He left you, you. You are the greatest creation he ever made. You are flesh of his flesh and he is alive inside you and he and your mother made you who you are today. You carry them with you every moment of every day. ♥️♥️♥️

      Like

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