Death Stole My Future

One thing is certain in life; death shall come to us all. Death is inevitable and inescapable. We shall all meet death eventually.

I’ve written some about losing my father to cancer. The loss of my father is something I shall always grieve. I miss him more than I can ever describe. I do however have a certain level of understanding surrounding his death. My father’s passing, as painful as it has been is still in the natural order of life. Regretfully it is expected that we shall lose our parents at some point during our lifetime and even though my father’s death was too soon, I do have an understanding of why he had to go. His body was sick and had grown too tired to carry on. Not a day goes by that I do not think about my father and the legacy he has left though. I shall always grieve for my father.

I’ve also written about losing my precious daughter Madison. Madison’s death is something I will never understand. The drum beat out of time and stole my future. She was never supposed to leave this world before me. It is indescribably unnatural to bury a child. It was never intended to be that way. Mothers are not built to withstand that type of pain. Mothers are not built to look upon their child’s face one last time before the casket is closed indefinitely and watch as their child is lowered into the ground to be covered by dirt. I know for certain I wasn’t built to withstand this type of pain.

Death has stolen my future and replaced it with fear and uncertainty. Who knew this grief could feel so much like fear. It doesn’t make much sense because my greatest fear has already transpired. Death has made me a grieving mother.

One thing I do not fear anymore IS death. Death is not the end. Death is the beginning of my eternal life with my savior, my father and my precious daughter.

The immeasurable amount of grief I feel as a grieving mother does not make me weak. It has made me unbelievably strong even when I feel my weakest. I am strong for carrying the tremendous weight of this grief every day of my life until I am called home to be with my child who has run ahead of me.

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