Seeing Myself Unabridged

I have a lot of time to think to myself, I mean lots of time. I am typically in deep thought even when I am busy doing something else. I am not present even while in the presence of others. I have become an efficient multitasker, but with the consequence of disconnecting. This post isn’t about my shortfalls though. I’m not perfect; I don’t ever expect to be. Today I’m writing about walking towards my own self discovery.

I’ve often struggled with self image and self worth throughout the years. I think most of us do from time to time. It’s far easier to concentrate on our flaws than it is our positive qualities. I am beginning to be able to think of myself in a different light. I’m not going to mislead you though, it’s extremely difficult for me to do. Given my circumstances, I could easily give up on myself completely, lie down and wait for death to come find me. Instead I make a conscious choice to remember my self worth.

There’s a scene from a movie that’s been frequently popping into my mind lately. I’ve seen the movie “The Help” several times and I can’t possibly be the only person that thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The scene that always comes to mind is when Mae says “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.” I always tear up a little during this scene because she is having to leave a little girl that she’s raised until that point. She left that little girl with what we should all remember about ourselves. So in sorts this has become my mantra:

I am kind.

I am smart.

I am important.

Because I truly am a very kind and genuinely good hearted person, I am also quite smart in my own way and I am still so important.

I am broken, exhausted and overwhelmed in many ways, but it has made my soul that much kinder. I am quiet by nature, I always have been, but I’ve found a voice I never knew I had. I have a lot to offer and am still utterly worthy of love because I am that important.

I finally see myself though the eyes of no one else, releasing me from so much self consciousness. I am no longer valued by my outward appearance or how others see me. I can see now that I am enough, to me, unabridged.




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