Mother’s Day in the U.S. is this coming Sunday and National Bereaved Mother’s Day was this past Sunday. I, along with so many other mothers find it hard to know where we fit on these days intended to honor our motherhood.
National Bereaved Mother’s Day was created to celebrate, honor and remember mothers who have lost a child. It’s not a well known holiday to begin with and this year I found it to be extra confusing, difficult and hurtful to my spirit. I felt so alone and isolated. Who is supposed to honor you or remember you on this day? If it is a day intended for remembering your child and your own motherhood, I’m not sure how to feel about that either. I remember my child and my own motherhood every day of the year. As bereaved mothers we reach out to honor and remember one another, but this is still a very difficult day to swallow emotionally.
Mother’s Day; A day to honor our own mothers and a day for our own children to honor us is confusing to me now too. I’m fortunate to still have my mother here and usually spend time finding her the right gift & card to show her I care and give it to her on this day. We usually have a family meal on this day too. I celebrate my oldest daughter, who is a mother herself and she recognizes me in her own way too. There will always be someone missing from the equation though and it’s difficult to not feel it, especially on Mother’s Day.
Both holidays which are intended to honor motherhood are so extremely difficult for me personally. One is because my youngest daughter is absent and for the other her absence plays in the very forefront of my mind even more than usual.
At the end of the day, I am so very thankful for my own mother and that I, myself am the mother of two beautiful daughters. I am thankful for the time I still have with my mom and Sarah and I am thankful for the time I had with Madison. My heart is just so broken now.