How Losing a Child Changes Everything

Losing my daughter has absolutely flipped my entire existence upside down. I shall never return to the person I once was. How could I as her mother remain unchanged? Not every change has been absolutely dreadful though & some have even been positive.   The Positive I have become more aware of a need to… Continue reading How Losing a Child Changes Everything

My Child Lived

One thing I’ve learned is that the smallest mention of her name makes most people squirm. My daughter lived dammit, I want to hear her name & talk about her. To me the simple mention of her name is the most beautiful sound I could hear. It’s also amazing how almost every person you know… Continue reading My Child Lived

Sinking-Screaming Silently

Illustration used to show how grief can feel At times it feels like I’m sinking into a dark hole while screaming out “Why can’t anyone hear me? Can’t anyone see the pain I’m in? Why isn’t anyone helping me?” But all my screams are totally silent so I go another day feeling like my pain… Continue reading Sinking-Screaming Silently

When Maddy Loved

When Maddy loved, she truly loved with her whole heart. She loved her Papaw wholeheartedly no doubt. He had always been a huge part of her everyday life for most of her life. I know from personal experience all the reasons she loved him so, as he is my father and in my eyes no… Continue reading When Maddy Loved

Half Here – Half There

This life long journey I’m on is hard. I know I’m not alone, but it’s still so lonely being here. See, I have two beautiful daughters which I love more than anything in the world. I’m a mother here on earth and I’m a mother in heaven. This journey of mine is not fair to… Continue reading Half Here – Half There

I Know You

I know you I know all about you I know what it felt like as you grew inside me I know what it felt like to hold you for the first time & every time that followed  I know every fleck of color & sparkle in your eyes I know the tears that fell from… Continue reading I Know You

Reasons Why I’m Strong

I never chose to become a grieving mother. There have been many times when I have wanted to give up completely and I often wonder how I haven’t died from my broken heart alone. Surely it’s enough to stop a heart, right? Carrying such lament is not for the faint of heart. It takes a… Continue reading Reasons Why I’m Strong

Just Breathe

I have to remind myself to breathe most every day. I honestly believe with some things there are absolutely no quick fixes because sometimes you cannot possibly foresee a future, after having your life altered in such a earth shattering way. Healing can come too, however small it may seem. Many of us will all continue… Continue reading Just Breathe

In My Experience – How Losing a Parent Differs From The Loss of a Child

My father passed away after a long battle with pancreatic cancer just a little over a year before my daughter left this world too. I always thought that losing my parents would be the most difficult thing I would ever go through or have to face. I recall a conversation I had with him just… Continue reading In My Experience – How Losing a Parent Differs From The Loss of a Child