His Patience and My Purpose

It’s been a little more than two years keeping my feelings and what is in my heart almost entirely to myself, only ever speaking of the most superficial. I’ve never spoke aloud or written any of what’s been pouring out of my heart recently. I have been so angry with God over Maddy’s death. But… Continue reading His Patience and My Purpose

Signs From Our Loved Ones

I've heard it said that there are signs of our loved ones everywhere. I’ve heard that some of the signs can come by way of butterflies, dragonflies, cardinals, a cloud formation, a ray of light or feathers, just to name a few. Photograph by: Laura Wyatt Douglass I've seen all of these things regularly throughout… Continue reading Signs From Our Loved Ones

How Losing a Child Changes Everything

Losing my daughter has absolutely flipped my entire existence upside down. I shall never return to the person I once was. How could I as her mother remain unchanged? Not every change has been absolutely dreadful though & some have even been positive.   The Positive I have become more aware of a need to… Continue reading How Losing a Child Changes Everything

My Child Lived

One thing I’ve learned is that the smallest mention of her name makes most people squirm. My daughter lived dammit, I want to hear her name & talk about her. To me the simple mention of her name is the most beautiful sound I could hear. It’s also amazing how almost every person you know… Continue reading My Child Lived

Sinking-Screaming Silently

Illustration used to show how grief can feel At times it feels like I’m sinking into a dark hole while screaming out “Why can’t anyone hear me? Can’t anyone see the pain I’m in? Why isn’t anyone helping me?” But all my screams are totally silent so I go another day feeling like my pain… Continue reading Sinking-Screaming Silently

When Maddy Loved

When Maddy loved, she truly loved with her whole heart. She loved her Papaw wholeheartedly no doubt. He had always been a huge part of her everyday life for most of her life. I know from personal experience all the reasons she loved him so, as he is my father and in my eyes no… Continue reading When Maddy Loved

Half Here – Half There

This life long journey I’m on is hard. I know I’m not alone, but it’s still so lonely being here. See, I have two beautiful daughters which I love more than anything in the world. I’m a mother here on earth and I’m a mother in heaven. This journey of mine is not fair to… Continue reading Half Here – Half There

I Know You

I know you I know all about you I know what it felt like as you grew inside me I know what it felt like to hold you for the first time & every time that followed  I know every fleck of color & sparkle in your eyes I know the tears that fell from… Continue reading I Know You

Reasons Why I’m Strong

I never chose to become a grieving mother. There have been many times when I have wanted to give up completely and I often wonder how I haven’t died from my broken heart alone. Surely it’s enough to stop a heart, right? Carrying such lament is not for the faint of heart. It takes a… Continue reading Reasons Why I’m Strong

Just Breathe

I have to remind myself to breathe most every day. I honestly believe with some things there are absolutely no quick fixes because sometimes you cannot possibly foresee a future, after having your life altered in such a earth shattering way. Healing can come too, however small it may seem. Many of us will all continue… Continue reading Just Breathe

In My Experience – How Losing a Parent Differs From The Loss of a Child

My father passed away after a long battle with pancreatic cancer just a little over a year before my daughter left this world too. I always thought that losing my parents would be the most difficult thing I would ever go through or have to face. I recall a conversation I had with him just… Continue reading In My Experience – How Losing a Parent Differs From The Loss of a Child