Tag: Milestones

For Maddy On Her 18th Birthday

Madison’s 18th Birthday is tomorrow, the 27th of June. Just like with many other milestones one can face after the loss of a child, the days leading up can prove to be challenging. Anticipation has already been hitting me pretty hard. There have been many difficult milestones to get through this year. Just like any

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The Empty Chair

This past Friday, I attended what would have been my daughter Madison’s High School Graduation. I knew it would no doubt, be one of the most difficult milestones I’ve had to face to date. However, I truly and wholeheartedly wanted to be there to see her friends graduate and watch them celebrate in their accomplishments.

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Can Losing A Pet Be As Hard As Losing A Loved One

I read an article this morning titled “Researchers Reveal Losing A Dog Can Be As Hard As Losing A Loved One”. I read the article in full and I do not disagree that losing a beloved pet can DEFINITELY be hard and that we can love our pets so much that we do have to

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Knowing My Own Limits While Re-Entering Life

I have written some previously about my inability to physically go anywhere but one or two places and how I have become almost entirely agoraphobic because I suffer from overwhelming fear & panic while in public as well as most social situations. This is the most frequent topic of conversation with my grief councillor. He

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In a Dream of You & Me

I had a dream A dream of you and me What a wonderful yet heartbreaking dream it would turn out to be We sat so close Face to face Not doing or saying a thing We both were content Just you and me I reached for your face To see if you were real Then

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Let’s Talk Unresolved or Complicated Grief

Everyone grieves at their own pace and in their own, very personal manner. So who’s to say that someone might have unresolved or complicated grief? Is there really anything ‘normal’ when it comes to grieving the loss of someone you love? How is grief not complicated and how is it ever possible to resolve? Who

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Seeing Myself Unabridged

I have a lot of time to think to myself, I mean lots of time. I am typically in deep thought even when I am busy doing something else. I am not present even while in the presence of others. I have become an efficient multitasker, but with the consequence of disconnecting. This post isn’t

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Would It Be Alright To Just Stick My Head In The Sand

Sometimes in anticipation of upcoming milestones, I feel like sticking my head in the sand instead of facing them. I have several major milestones to face this year and I want nothing more than to just hide from it all and stick my head in the sand. If I can’t see it, it can’t hurt

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No ‘at least’ in child loss – My two cents on saying at least to a grieving parent

There is no ‘at least’ in childloss. No one can convince me otherwise on this. I understand that people honestly mean well anytime they begin a sentence with “at least” while speaking of my loss. The truth is, that I cringe inside when anyone says something like “At least you have another child. At least

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His Patience and My Purpose

It’s been a little more than two years keeping my feelings and what is in my heart almost entirely to myself, only ever speaking of the most superficial. I’ve never spoke aloud or written any of what’s been pouring out of my heart recently. I have been so angry with God over Maddy’s death. But

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Signs From Our Loved Ones

I’ve heard it said that there are signs of our loved ones everywhere. I’ve heard that some of the signs can come by way of butterflies, dragonflies, cardinals, a cloud formation, a ray of light or feathers, just to name a few. I’ve seen all of these things regularly throughout my journey and I want

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When Maddy Loved

When Maddy loved, she truly loved with her whole heart. She loved her Papaw wholeheartedly no doubt. He had always been a huge part of her everyday life for most of her life. I know from personal experience all the reasons she loved him so, as he is my father and in my eyes no

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Half Here – Half There

This life long journey I’m on is hard. I know I’m not alone, but it’s still so lonely being here. See, I have two beautiful daughters which I love more than anything in the world. I’m a mother here on earth and I’m a mother in heaven. This journey of mine is not fair to

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Just Breathe

I have to remind myself to breathe most every day. I honestly believe with some things there are absolutely no quick fixes because sometimes you cannot possibly foresee a future, after having your life altered in such a earth shattering way. Healing can come too, however small it may seem. Many of us will all continue

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