Anger

I've been fairly silent lately and not expressing what's been going on in my heart. To be honest, I just haven't had the words recently. I've been stuck in some sort of deep sadness. However, my emotions haven't been completely running away with me, so I think I've been in a more quiet grief place… Continue reading Anger

A Life Somewhere Between A Glass Half Full & A Glass Half Empty

I've always thought of myself as a glass half-full type person. Never the outwardly bubbly, or overly cheerful type, but I'd definitely say that I'm a positive thinker. I don't typically complain about much anything, at all, or ever really, and I can usually find something positive to say about anyone or just about any… Continue reading A Life Somewhere Between A Glass Half Full & A Glass Half Empty

Bear Witness

There are no quick fixes Or remedies for our pain There is nothing That can take it away When you know someone Who has lost another they love Please do not turn and walk away Instead, just bear witness To what we have to say Our hearts have been broken And we know all to… Continue reading Bear Witness

My Soul Will Find Yours

I will look for you Until I draw my last breath I'll never let go Not even in death If it takes a thousand years or more Still I will find you Someday and somehow I'll never lose hope And my soul will find yours https://youtu.be/54DMWdzROH0

For You Daddy

In all my days I'll always wonder What you would think of me now In all my days I'll want to know If I still make you proud of me Daddy In all my days I'll be your blonde haired, blue eyed little girl The one you always saw when you looked at me In… Continue reading For You Daddy

The Legacy We Leave

I’ve decided to try a couple of other platforms to showcase some of my writing. I haven’t been getting as much traffic to my website as I’d like. In the 3 months I’ve been writing and pouring my heart out, I’ve still only seen a little over 4,300 visitors to Laura Simply Stumbling here on… Continue reading The Legacy We Leave

What I’ve come to learn about online grieving & support groups

I'm a member of a few online grieving groups through social media. The handful of groups I am part of are intended solely for either grieving mothers or both mothers and fathers. There are many groups available for those who have lost siblings, spouses, parents and grandparents, etc. too. Child loss is where I've found… Continue reading What I’ve come to learn about online grieving & support groups

For Maddy On Her 18th Birthday

Madison's 18th Birthday is tomorrow, the 27th of June. Just like with many other milestones one can face after the loss of a child, the days leading up can prove to be challenging. Anticipation has already been hitting me pretty hard. There have been many difficult milestones to get through this year. Just like any… Continue reading For Maddy On Her 18th Birthday

When Does Your Time Limit For Grieving Expire

At some point we all reach a time in our grieving process when people begin to find it more and more unacceptable that we continue to grieve our loved ones. They may even say things that make us feel guilty for grieving. They may begin to speak behind our backs, saying things like, "enough is… Continue reading When Does Your Time Limit For Grieving Expire

The Haunting

I have this haunting A haunting, no one else can see You, my dear, have left and haunted me You left me with this haunting so deep inside of me I have this haunting, you see A haunting of dreams to never be And a future changed so shockingly Never before have I felt so… Continue reading The Haunting

My Dysfunctional Anxiety

In my prior blog post:  WAIT A MINUTE...MY BIG GIRL PANTS SUDDENLY GOT WAY TOO SMALL AND WAY TOO FAST I talked about my latest panic attack. I had gone to the store for a simple task and ended up having a full-blown panic attack as I was leaving and on the way to my… Continue reading My Dysfunctional Anxiety

Wait a Minute…My Big Girl Pants Suddenly Got Way Too Small and Way Too Fast

Before I get started, let me just say that I'm going to try to make as much light of this situation as I can. Because it was an extraordinarily difficult day to begin with, already planning on attending Madison's Senior classmates’ graduation the same night and not knowing how the evening would play out at… Continue reading Wait a Minute…My Big Girl Pants Suddenly Got Way Too Small and Way Too Fast

Through Her Mother’s Eyes

Madison was always full of life. She was full of spunk and had a little attitude too. Her laugh or smile could change your day in the matter of seconds. She was ferocious and so very tender at the same time. She loved to joke around and was so extremely smart and witty. She loved… Continue reading Through Her Mother’s Eyes

Rescue by Lauren Daigle – Worth the Listen If You Have a Broken Heart

https://youtu.be/2FhQCYGYXzw You are not hidden There's never been a moment You were forgotten You are not hopeless Though you have been broken Your innocence stolen I hear you whisper underneath your breath I hear your SOS, your SOS I will send out an army to find you In the middle of the darkest night It's… Continue reading Rescue by Lauren Daigle – Worth the Listen If You Have a Broken Heart

My Personal Experience With Psychiatry & Professional Counseling – Child Loss Grief

In my experience, when psychiatry and counseling goes bad, it can go really bad. It can be extremely traumatic to the one trusting a professional for help. This is the story of my journey into the world of psychiatry and professional counseling. My daughter passed away on December 11, 2016. As a mother, I had… Continue reading My Personal Experience With Psychiatry & Professional Counseling – Child Loss Grief

Dreams

I have a confession. This confession feels absolutely terrible to even put in writing. It is my reality though. I do not dream of Madison. I have only had three dreams of her that I actually remember since the day she left. I don't know why; I try so hard to dream of her. Every… Continue reading Dreams

Because of HIS Grace I Stood

When I first lost my daughter I was in complete and utter shock. I was in shock for multiple reasons. My precious baby had died plus I had suffered great trauma in finding her and trying to save her. The time leading up to her funeral service was a blur. I remember that I could… Continue reading Because of HIS Grace I Stood

Some Days Just Suck

Some days just plain suck, but that's okay. Some days I wish I could turn my back on all this grief, this unbearable pain in my heart, this terrible uncertainty, unnatural fear and anxiety. I wish I could turn my back on it all; All this emotional turmoil that takes such a great toll and… Continue reading Some Days Just Suck

In a Dream of You & Me

I had a dream A dream of you and me What a wonderful yet heartbreaking dream it would turn out to be We sat so close Face to face Not doing or saying a thing We both were content Just you and me I reached for your face To see if you were real Then… Continue reading In a Dream of You & Me

Let’s Talk Unresolved or Complicated Grief

Everyone grieves at their own pace and in their own, very personal manner. So who's to say that someone might have unresolved or complicated grief? Is there really anything 'normal' when it comes to grieving the loss of someone you love? How is grief not complicated and how is it ever possible to resolve? Who… Continue reading Let’s Talk Unresolved or Complicated Grief

No ‘at least’ in child loss – My two cents on saying at least to a grieving parent

There is no ‘at least’ in childloss. No one can convince me otherwise on this. I understand that people honestly mean well anytime they begin a sentence with “at least” while speaking of my loss. The truth is, that I cringe inside when anyone says something like “At least you have another child. At least… Continue reading No ‘at least’ in child loss – My two cents on saying at least to a grieving parent

Is It Glorifying The Imperfect

I lost my daughter to a drug related accident. My daughter was imperfect; she acted out, just like most teenagers do and she ultimately did something that caused her own death. So why do I “glorify” her in my writing? I have a very simple answer to this question. LOVE. I love my daughter unconditionally… Continue reading Is It Glorifying The Imperfect

Sinking-Screaming Silently

Illustration used to show how grief can feel At times it feels like I’m sinking into a dark hole while screaming out “Why can’t anyone hear me? Can’t anyone see the pain I’m in? Why isn’t anyone helping me?” But all my screams are totally silent so I go another day feeling like my pain… Continue reading Sinking-Screaming Silently

When Maddy Loved

When Maddy loved, she truly loved with her whole heart. She loved her Papaw wholeheartedly no doubt. He had always been a huge part of her everyday life for most of her life. I know from personal experience all the reasons she loved him so, as he is my father and in my eyes no… Continue reading When Maddy Loved

Half Here – Half There

This life long journey I’m on is hard. I know I’m not alone, but it’s still so lonely being here. See, I have two beautiful daughters which I love more than anything in the world. I’m a mother here on earth and I’m a mother in heaven. This journey of mine is not fair to… Continue reading Half Here – Half There

I Know You

I know you I know all about you I know what it felt like as you grew inside me I know what it felt like to hold you for the first time & every time that followed  I know every fleck of color & sparkle in your eyes I know the tears that fell from… Continue reading I Know You

Reasons Why I’m Strong

I never chose to become a grieving mother. There have been many times when I have wanted to give up completely and I often wonder how I haven’t died from my broken heart alone. Surely it’s enough to stop a heart, right? Carrying such lament is not for the faint of heart. It takes a… Continue reading Reasons Why I’m Strong